Domestika Editorial 2: I saw God, in person .............. Issue 2, May 2004



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	01_Bowie player
	Very close to being my favourite song of last decade, "I'm Deranged" from Bowie's rather obscure album "Outside" is an airy, fresh and three-dimensional song. I love to play it loud while driving on the highway ... subwoofer frequency makes my rearview mirror shift from vibrations. I was bad and included a little player down here with the song in it. But, since hardly anyone visits this site, I'm not worried ... this is only for the chosen few that do read this. Click on play and listen to Bowie sing. Cheers. ______________________________ 04_Modern Man's Guide To Etiquette If you think this little snippet will teach you which knife to use or how to hang your loo roll, well you've come to the wrong place. Here, we deal exclusively with real problems for real men. ON GREETING ANOTHER MAN (because limp and damp is not a good start) + A handshake is never wrong. It should be firm, brief and offered without delay. Remember to wipe that hand first and maintain eye contact throughout. + Any complex "ghetto-style" manoeuvre (especially follwed by words "peace" and "out")is to be avoided. Even if you're black. And especially if he's black and you're not. + Hugging / kissing: Immediate family - fine. Family from first cousins - no. Friends - only if gay, Italian or a fellow member of Narcotics Anonimous. AT THE HOME DEPO (because man was built to build) + Don't marvel at the electric screwdrivers. They've been around for years + Don't stray into housware or plant departments but feel free to be discovered browsing lawnmowers). + If it's your first time - stick to shelving: it has a highly favourable impressivness-to-complication ratio. + Never ask for help. When approached, refuse. Leave a gap of 3 minutes before approaching and saying, "Actually...". + Don't even think about getting into plumbing. + When handling any tool saying "It has a nice action" suggests a wealth of experience. WHEN DANCING (becasuse it's not just you and the music) + Always stick to your era. + When "Wild Boys" come on, dont sprint to the dance floor. Count to 20 and then sounter. + Saying "I don't dance" is as cool as knowing moves to Macarena. + But if there is any way of getting out of it - take it. + Funny dancing isn't funny. + Lyric mouthing is as bad as air-guitar. + Air guitar is as bad as paedophilia. IN THE PUBLIC WASHROOMS (becasuse we all know why we're here, we just don't need to talk about it) + Check yourself: you're in public, so don't hawk into urinal, don't pick your nose and wipe it on the wall just becasue someone else has, and don't play chase-the-disinfectant-block or how-high-can-i-go (and definitely not crossfire). + Eyes up at all times - do you really want to know what that man's penis looks like? + While you may never foregt it, there's no need to acknowledge what's been going on when your workmate emerges from the cubicle. Credits: This article can be found in British Esquire, May 2004. Written by James Medd & Tim Lewis. ______________________________ 04_Life's Small Pleasures A few people actually submitted their suggestions for this section and I'm a HAPPY CAMPER! YAY! Furthermore, some of them ROCK! E., Thank you for sending them ... you know who you are. - liking how you look in snapshots - hearing about somebody else's most embarrassing moment - shopping and getting the last one of anything - changing the picture calendar month page - Heavy traffic jam on the other side of the highway. - Thumbnailing the foil on a Kit-Kat - Midweek matinée - Spanish girls chatting - Peter Mansbridge on 11 o'clock news - Having exactly the right change - Your streetcar driver having fun announcing the stops along Queen St. - Receiving a personal letter in mail - James Brown saying "AH!" - James Earl Jones saying anything. - Barry White saying "Baby ..." (if you're a girl). - Rita Hayworth look-alike calling you a sailor (if you're a boy). suggest your own

		02_UberCool	03_On Malcolm McLaren
		Do you know who is Betty Joan Perske? Well, let me tell you ... it's this cool lady up here. Lauren Bacall is her stage name and she was tough chick on the screen where there were none. Her first movie role was "To Have and Have Not", an adaptaion of E. Hemingway's novel. She was teamed up with Humphrey Bogart and they apparently fell in love on the set. She was 19 and he 44 ... on his 3rd marriage. They married in 1945 and had 2 kids before he died in 1957 of cancer. Here's some fun trivia on her: + Chosen by Empire magazine as one of the 100 Sexiest Stars in film history (#6). [1995] + Ranked #20 in the AFI's top 25 Actress Legends + With former husband Humphrey Bogart, has a kind of vocal disorder named after her. 'Bogart-Bacall syndrome' (or BBS) is a form of muscle tension dysphonia most common in professional voice users (actors, singers, TV/radio presenters, etc) who habitually use a very low speaking pitch. BBS is more common among women than men and has been blamed on "social pressure on professional women to compete with men in the business arena". Do you know who is Terence Steven McQueen? Yup ... and here's what IMDB says on him: "Truly one of the most loved actors of his generation. Steve McQueen was known for his wild antics and crazy lifestyle. He loved motorcycles and fast cars. He performed most of his stunts and many he wasn't supposed to. He played many great roles but was most known for Papillon, Bullitt, The Thomas Crown Affair, The Sand Pebbles, The Cincinnati Kid, The Great Escape and The Magnificent Seven. Girls wanted him and men wanted to be him." I'd like to ad that he is the father of cool. He stared in one of the most impactful movies I've ever seen, along with Dustin Hoffman, a 1973 movie "Papillon". Steve McQueen died in 1980. Here's some fun trivia on him: + Of the 2000 performers that auditioned for Lee Strasberg 's exclusive Actors' Studio in 1955, only two were accepted: Martin Landau and McQueen. + Was a pallbearer at the funeral of actor Bruce Lee. + McQueen was very interested in playing John Rambo in the adaptation of the novel 'First Blood.' He was actually slated to star, but did not due to his death. Sylvester Stallone got the role instead. + Along with Martin Sheen and James Dean , is mentioned in R.E.M.'s song "Electrolite".	I found out something very interesting tonight: Malcolm McLaren was behind the idea of BMW Films. The coolest ad campaign I've ever seen. Bold, unique, daring ... simply cool and artistic. Now, for those who don't know who Malcolm is, well ... let's see: have you heard of Sex Pistols? If your answer is YES, please preceed reading. If your answer is NO ... well, I dunno what to say ... but still - please proceed reading. Anyhow, Sex Pistols are who they are thanks to their anger and Malcolm. Their music was, according to Malcolm, apparently irrelevant ... "The music was irrelevant, McLaren told British magazine Time Out in 1983. Degrading the royal family with the song "God save the Queen" and annoying politicians with "Anarchy in the U.K." earned the Sex Pistols temporary bans from radio, concert halls and even some record stores. They could not have asked for better marketing. In early 1977, McLaren played two big record companies against each other. EMI, which won the contract, was unable to manage the young beasts — with McLaren backing them. Shortly after, the band bought their freedom and A&M got the contract. It lasted a day. In a scandal-strewn two months, the Sex Pistols had made the fairytale sum of £125,000. The contract finally went to Richard Branson's Virgin for £65,000." Read more on McLaren, Sex Pistols and BMW Films in this wicked article.
		05_Music in TO	06_Virgin Radio
		... let's see: pretty heavy on concerts since the last reporting ... Snow Patrol kicked ass ... Scottish boys were energetic with a lot of substance ... don't download these guys, they're poor folk and they were sooo happy to play in Toronto ... buy their CD here. What else ... ah-ah! David Bowie - at the age of 58, he still looks like a genuine, original rock star. I was very pleasantly surprised with his communication with the audience, for I've not seen him in concert before. He played for about 2 hrs, and he played most of the Bowie good songs. If you were at the concert, and you heard someone scream "I love Freddy Mercury" while Bowie announced "Under Pressure" - that was me. :-)	Sometime last summer, I got hooked on Virgin Radio. It was around the time when my personal life was a total disaster, so I found some comfort in listening to this call-in radio show called Jezza's Virgin Confessions, where all sorts of people call in and tell the most bizarre, and most private details of their life ... its something you need to hear on your own, so tune into the Virgin Radio 1215 AM , every day from 4-7 pm EST.
		07_Kavin, Jesus etc. Kavin would never say he is a writer. And, maybe he isn't but I think he is talented and I really like this short story her wrote. I'd like to share it with you. Here's 1 paragraph from the story called "Disclaimer", which I thoroughly enjoyed. Its a story about him seeing the latest Jesus movie with his long-time, religious high school buddies, and it is written in a plain but stylized language, full of solid humor. Cheers Kav. (click anywhere on the text to download a word doc) " The first sign that all this was a grand scheme of things by the great architect was when I ordered some Whooper TM s and only had to pay a dollar. Sure, it could be a marketing strategy premeditated by men in suits at the Burger King headquarters, but I like to think it was God's version of a customer appreciation day. As I'm eating my Whooper TM with no mayo and no onions, and waiting for Lon to pick me up from the station, I realized the last time I saw him was at his wedding." 08_What I've learned " What's the difference between sex and love? I have four wives and five kids. I apparently don't know the difference." James Caan, Actor "Actors have bodyguards and entourages not because anybody wants to hurt them—who would want to hurt an actor?—but because they want to get recognized. God forbid someone doesn't recognize them. They'd have a fucking heart attack." James Caan, Actor "I could write about failure only because I could deal with it. Most of my work before Death of a Salesman , 98 percent of it was a failure. By the time Willy Loman came along, I knew how he felt." Arthur Miller, Playwright "Whenever I hear somebody's in touch with God, I look for the exit." Arthur Miller, Playwright "You should just name your third kid Baby. Trust me—it'll save you a lot of hassle." Homer Simpson, Nuclear-power-plant safety inspector "My favorite color is chocolate." Homer Simpson, Nuclear-power-plant safety inspector "It's depressing when you're still around and your albums are out of print." Lou Reed, Musician "You know the expression "God protects fools and drunks"? I qualify for both." Lou Reed, Musician 08_SUBSCRIBE If you'd like me to bother you with e-mails, letting you know when new issues of Domestika Editorial are live, please submit your e-mail address here. Thanks and cheers. Name: E-mail: